Personal Narrative Thoughts

I really enjoyed doing the personal narratives!  It was fun telling my story.  I realized that I have a strong voice in writing.  I write like I talk, and I talk a lot.  I usually don't enjoy writing, but I enjoyed this assignment.  I definitely noticed a weakness or two.  I use "to be" verbs way too much.  It's hard to get rid of them!  Sometimes they fit with my voice, but usually I noticed that those paragraphs sound like I'm bored.  I also noticed that I have a hard time with dialogue.  I think the "he said / she said" think is cheesy.  However, I will press on, and by the end of this semester, I will be on the moon!  Well, maybe not quite.. but close.

Update on my personal narrative

I'm actually pretty excited about this!  My paper is coming along well.  It's kind of like that whole searching for a needle in a haystack analogy...  I have removed a stack of hay and thought I saw a glimmer.  Emphasis on thought I may have possibly seen a glimmer.  There is truth.  The needle is in the haystack.  I just still have to find it. :)
In all reality, I have drafted 4 pages of just telling the story.  There is no dialogue which is my big bundle of hay right now.  Once I remove that, I feel like I will have a much easier search for the needle.  I just need to figure out how to get detailed enough into an event that needs a lot of explaining and spans over a week.  Or maybe that's it!  I need to figure out what explaining I have done that was completely unnecessary!  I think I may have just solved my problem from writing this blog.  Thanks, guys.  Any other helpful ideas?

Night: "Feed My Lambs" Response

I picked this narrative to respond to because I feel like I understand it the most.  To be completely honest, at the beginning, I found myself actually laughing out loud because it reminded me so much of home!  Not only was the narrative funny, but it was touching and well written.

In Charlestown, there is quite a large diversity of groups.  We mostly had gangsters, rednecks, and everybody else.  There was a large amount of racial diversity as well.  So, naturally, I could easily compare to Mrs. Campbell’s story.  I found her description of the kids’ actions in the beginning to be hilarious because that is exactly what it’s like.  It’s not really funny, but it made me laugh because she described it so well.  Does that make sense?

I also found her story very touching to me personally.  Often I would find myself watching the other kids act at school exactly as described in the narrative and wish that I could help them in some way.  Mrs. Campbell’s story shows a way that those kinds of kids can be helped.  I know how she felt being LDS and being surrounded by those kinds of kids.  It is really quite depressing.  They don’t know any better and they act that way because that’s the only way they know how to act.  There are some scary streets where I’m from, and it sounds like she’s seen similarly scary things.

I was impressed with Mrs. Campbell and how she was able to affect her students.  It takes a lot to reach out to kids like that.  I enjoyed reading her experience.

Personal Narrative Response

Hey guys!  First, I'd like to give you an update.  Sorry I didn't post last week, I got really sick Thursday and was sick all through Saturday, but I made it to church on Sunday!  I'm much better today so I'm just getting all caught up on my work.

I read the narratives on Thursday and I really enjoyed them!  I particularly enjoyed Love Story Fades to Black by Michael Potter.  I almost felt like I was reading my future journal.  Not because of the topic, but just the way he explained everything.  I related so well to his explanation of the entire scenario.  I liked how he explained everything like it was a pre-written movie script gone wrong.

The voice that Michael used in the narrative was just easily relatable for me.  I understood what he was saying and how he was saying it.  I enjoyed his style of going back and forth between a description of what was happening, and his personal thoughts and feelings of the conversation.  In my opinion, it was a well written narrative.

I also really agree with the idea of the narrative.  Sometimes I feel like girls forget that we men have feelings, too.  It is definitely hard to for all of us to be selfless, but it seems like it's more of a responsibility of the gentleman.  I have definitely had experiences where I have talked to a girl and felt like we had a relationship.  Things would seem to be going just fine on my part.  I liked her she liked me, etc.  Then, she's on the phone with her boyfriend.  What?  Talk about confusion.  So I feel for Michael.  I understand where he is coming from and enjoyed reading his story.

Me in a nutshell (a.k.a. 100 words)

My name is Aaron Fielding, and I come from a little place in Southern Indiana called Charlestown.  I tried to get to know a large amount of kids in my high school and also in my stake.  I love the Gospel, soccer, snowboarding, food, computers, and cameras.  I want to be a movie director, and I just love the feeling of filming and editing videos.  I also love dating.  I am afraid of sharks and being told no when asking a girl on a date.  There really isn't anything that I hate; I'd rather be optimistic.  I am a natural leader, I play piano, and I just love life!